It’s on.

Great day.  My morning started with a think-tank meeting with beautiful, creative women.  And it created opportunities for all of us.  Our pied piper, my very own Zirit guru, brought us all together and got us motivated.  The energy just continued on from there throughout the day culminating in a “mini” strategizing, business planning session with one of my besties.  I have to say that I am so lucky to be surrounded by amazingly brilliant and talented friends who are oh so generous with their moral support.  Yay!  So much to do and plan…..oh yeah, it’s on.

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What?

Amazing weekend.  Quiet.  Uneventful.  Just what I needed.  Lots of talks and making my plans with my hubby, watching football and snuggling with both him and my pooch.   Today.  Not so much.  What happened?  How is it possible to lose all that peace and zen in less than 24 hours…..??  I think once I leave this place, it will start creeping back in.  I’m counting on it.  Over and out.

Time to take it all in.

A few significant moments have occurred this week that I have to recognize.  If nothing else, they force me to take pause.  The death of a woman I knew that was too soon and unexpected.  It’s significance to me is that she was the dear friend of a dear friend of mine.  I hadn’t talked to my friend in months, for a litany of reasons of which none I am proud.  But I talked to her last night and of course, we cried and just hearing her voice made me happier.

A friend at work knew a young man who was fighting in Afghanistan and died in battle.  He had just recently gotten to meet his baby daughter for the first time via Skype.  She came early.  If she hadn’t come early, her father would have never seen her face.

Steve Jobs died yesterday.  He was not only brilliant, he was a visionary.  To me, he embodied everything that is right about American ingenuity and excellence.  His story can only be told in this country.  The one quote that keeps flying around the social media sites is one of my favorites:

“Your time is limited so, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the opinions of others drown out your own inner voice. And most important, to follow your heart and intuition. Somehow, already know what you want to become. Everything else is secondary.” -Steve Jobs

Words to live by.  I will be taking time this weekend to take it all in.

Search for balance.

Better day today, but still pining for balance.  It’s been a “relatively” productive day – shuffling mindset between two businesses – but I’ve spent most of the day discussing cupcakes with my niece.  She got three of them and she’s giving two away….the horror.  She has been told that she must give a detailed report of her chocolate banana decadence and she’s on board.

I can’t help but get the thought/idea out of my head that should have my own business.  Do I have the discipline, determination and focus to accomplish this?  There’s nothing worse than cringing when someone asks you for your website, it’s not “yours” and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Balance.

Why is it that when I recognize that I have no balance, it’s usually when I suck as a friend, daughter, sister, wife?  One of my dearest friends in the world is going through a very sad time right now.  The thought of it makes me want to cry.  One of her closest childhood friends died unexpectedly at the age of 46.  I suspect that I have avoided calling her because I know that the floodgates will open and I haven’t been in a place to do that.  But that is selfish.  While I like to think that I am good at thinking about others, the reality is that lately I have been in my own pitiful, self-absorbed hole.  Professionally, financially and personally – I am not where I want to be and I can’t get the balance back in my life.  I need to figure it out….and quick.  This is no way to be.

“Constructive Criticism”

As I continue on in this journey of self-discovery and renewal, I find myself regularly wanting to punch somebody in the face.  I say that only half-way joking.  To say that I’ve gone through some career challenges in the last few years is the understatement of the century.  Were it not for the support of my girlfriends and my husband, not to mention my family – I think I would lose my mind.  Have you ever worked with anyone who thought that only their ideas were the best ideas?  And they remind you of it on a regular basis?  It’s hard to accept criticism from someone when you don’t like their ideas.  But until it’s my name on the business, there isn’t much I can say….  I’m working on that.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

So, recently I was told to take over running the social media business at work.  Now, as a former banker of 20+ years who only recently….within the last 3 years…..dove into social media, this was a bit daunting and overwhelming.  First order of business:  “create some video that we can market to potential clients.”  Seriously?  Other than the video camera function on my phone, I had never even used a video camera.  But there I was, at the ripe old age of 48 fumbling through and teaching myself not only HOW to use a video camera – but also, uploading and EDITING video.  I created some pretty good video, if I say so myself…and it was fun!  As a detail-oriented Virgo…I probably spent a little more time editing down to the second but I was determined to produce a nice product.  Well, the other day I got some “critique” about some footage I shot that was less than perfect: if you need help, ask for it.  Hmmm…how do I ask for help if I don’t know I need help?  You don’t know what you don’t know.

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